Full Band Demo 2013

by Brave Hands

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we stepped outside with the best intentions, painting all our heartstrings on the ground. we made a few mistakes along way but i can't stay stationary and i won't let these chords hurt you. but your capital cities, leave em to the freeways there's nothing left in them. it's not your fault that they won this time. we know tv's better with commercials, it makes it feel like home. simple little lies, i thought i'd always known better. it's not for art that's only half the battle. i've given up on faking it.
when you’re sticking to the sidewalk there are fewer things you do much more than math or hesitate while eating, stretch it thin you know you’ll need it. selling blood just wasn’t in your budget yet, oh maybe maybe dear we’ll get through this. cuz in the morning they start calling about the bills except i don’t mind sleeping next to candles formed in empty liquor bottles. as we huddle together just trying to get through this cold. it’s only bad in the winter and we’ve made it through worse.
we went to the same school a couple years apart but that was it, chance of fate we’d meet in this shitty workplace dream. and we used to laugh about how we’d burn this place down and run away from here. you used to cry, a little overwhelmed and that was it. she stretched herself too thin. product of your voting bloc and that sense of rhythm but still you try. i’m always working and you’re always writing just to get through college and unless these pages choose to wait what else? why do you need to fly away from here? there’s no such thing as self-defense philosophically when you’re crashing down three miles away. and why must the temperatures rise at all?
when i was younger i used to crossdress. chugging forties cutting class while smooching all the boys. with anti-fascist pins and a heart of gold whatever happened to that sad faced kid? when i was sixteen i tried to kill myself, it didn't feel strange it felt fucking simple in my head. figured they could pump us full of drugs that we weren't already doing anyway. someone's tired someone's hopeful no one's happy heart's grow older. what were we doing anyway?
downtown, we’ve gotta figure this one out. i know you’ve got a heavy heart and you’re so full of doubt. you left your job for less than this, ever ready holding steady for what you’re convinced you’ll miss. the ghosts you see is just the past that seeps through me. in that depression holds a secret that has taken more than one of my friends, writing poems now gives you something science somehow contributes not and i hope you get why. bangs might hide your eyes but i’ve seen that same look out in the mirror when i ate those pills and jon drinnan had to drag me to the hospital and fifty-one/fifty just had me committed. and i know i’m not as strong as i thought and i know courage can’t be store bought. i never want to lay you down in the ground, it’s all i think when you talk about suicide.


released July 27, 2013




Brave Hands Portland, Oregon

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